No New is Not Good News

The reason for the lack of posts is that I have no news whatsoever. There hasn't even been anything amusing or interesting the news for me to comment on. So I've decided to do a quick update, by heading:

• Money: Still haven't got paid. But I did get my favorite set of shoes re-soled.
  
• Fencing: Training twice a week. Actually doing quite a lot of sabre. I was thinking of going to the Pan Pacific Masters, but decided it wasn't worth the expense.
  
• The Lingo: The other night I asked somebody "How are you going?" * shudder *
  
• Work: Apart from the aforementioned monetary problems, the new job is going great.
• Running: Did you know that the Sydney Marathon was on the 2nd week after I arrived? No, I didn't enter it. Given the amount of training I was doing before before I came, I think it might have been a bad idea. Still I'm getting out about 1.5 times a week so I'm just about in shape.
  
• Partying: Too much beer....

Stingray Declares War on Mankind!

As an Irish man I feel somewhat familiar with the cycle of violence. The shocking death of Steve Irwin at the hands of a lone sting-ray led to apparent revenge killings in Australia.

And now this cycle of hate continues:

breaking: Florida man critical after sting-ray stabbing:
An 81-year-old Florida man is in a critical condition after he was stabbed in the chest by a stingray that jumped into his boat. [...] "It was a freak accident," said Lighthouse Point acting fire Chief David Donzella.

Naive, Mr Donzella. Very Naive. Where will it end people?

Tag Ban

School bans tag, other chase games - CNN.com:
Officials at an elementary school south of Boston have banned kids from playing tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chase game during recess for fear they'll get hurt and hold the school liable.
[...]
Another Willett parent, Celeste D'Elia, said her son feels safer because of the rule. 'I've witnessed enough near collisions,' she said.

"Near Collisions" you say! Oh the humanity!

When ever I'm feeling a little down...

...I take the time to look at this photo:

Cramp!

Saturday was the hottest Day in Sydney since I arrived: 37 degrees if the papers are to be believed. So of course, when I get an invitation to pop down to Sydney University for some fencing training do I say:

a) "What? Are you crazy?"
b) "Sorry, but seeing as I was drinking so hard last night that I woke up still wearing all my cloths, perhaps training wouldn't be the best thing in this heat"
c) "Good Idea! The exercise will probably do me some good."

Sigh...

Anyway, to set the stage: again, I spent Friday night getting wasted with some of the guys from work. It was another 3am finish. Remember boys and girls: enjoy alcohol responsibly, and eating is not cheating.

Needless to say, when the SMS inviting me to fencing arrived, I wasn't feeling the Mae West. I eventually crawled out of bed, and started making my way in the direction of the university. I don't really know the bus system in Sydney at well at this stage, so I decided to take the train to Central, and walk what should be 20 minutes to half-an-hour amble to the uni.

The heat was something else, and my bag felt particularly heavy. I was almost there when I got a phonecall from one of the guys from work. Doh! I had just remember that I'd arranged to meet him and pickup something from work. Where I was about 20 minutes from work and I was a bit early, so I decided to go meet him before going fencing. So, I drag the bag over Sydney's undulating terrain to get to Redfern where the office is located. I meet my colleague and pick up my stuff, and head back the way I came towards the college.

At this stage the heat and the weight of the bag are really starting to get to me. I had already finished the entire bottle of sports drink I had with me, I was sweating like a pig and getting pretty thirsty. It should have been half an hour's walk to the sports centre, but I got a bit lost, (as a scary coincidence, I realized that I was lost when I ended up at the pub where I was drinking the previous night), so it took me more like forty five minutes.

It's a miracle I hadn't missed fencing completely. I got suited up and went straight out on the piste, I had barely gone on guard when: WHAMO! The heat and dehydration exacted its toll from my muscles - my left leg cramped up entirely.

"Oh no!" I hear you shout, "Did you stop fencing immediately and get some fluids in you?"

What do you think? Nope, I just stretched it out and kept fencing.

And now I reach the punchline of the story: I went out to dinner that evening. Let me tell you: it's pretty hard to be cool, charming and sophisticated when your left ham-string spends the evening laboring to pop your left knee out of its socket.

...

I subscribe to an RSS feed of the Irish Times Top stories. Unfortunately, because ireland.com require paid subscription to view half their articles, I often find an article of which it's summary I find interesting, but I cannot read the full article. Let's take this tid-bit from An Tanaiste:

Immigration meant there was need for 'a project which seeks to redefine our view of Irishness and develop a shared vision of what Irish society is, and where it wishes to go,' the Minister for Justice Michael McDowell has said.

Curious of how Michael "Richard Bruton is the Joseph Goebbbels of Propaganda" McDowell would define Irishness, I went searching for the article on the web. I didn't find the news-item, but it did amuse me to find the following when I did a an image search on "Irishness":



...

'Backwards-Ireland' has made Slashdot:

Slashdot | Adult .IE Domain Names Banned As Immoral:
The Irish domain prefix, .ie, is controlled by an organization called the IE Domain Registry. In their terms and conditions they state, 'The proposed domain name must not be offensive or contrary to public policy or generally accepted principles of morality.' But this policy is only applied to sex words as this adult webmaster has discovered. Murder.ie is acceptable, Porn.ie is not.

This article links to a blog entry on "sex.ie" (what a great domain name!) :

The funny thing is, porn is legal in Ireland. Murder isn't, advertising prostitution isn't, but you can still register murder.ie and escorts.ie.

...

Independent Online Edition: What your Kiss says about you:
Last year, German psychologists announced that people who kiss their spouse each morning will live five years longer than those who don't. Kissers also have fewer car accidents, fewer sick days and earn 20 to 30 per cent more.

Whoa! When I read this article, the Cancer in me thought: 20 to 30%? I gotta get me a spouse!

Baby needs new Shoes

I'm tired of being broke.

"Broke?" you ask. Yup, broke.

To start at the beginning, the reason I'm over here in Sydney is because I'm starting a new job with a new company - name withheld so my boss won't find this blog with a web-search.

However they hadn't got my work visa sorted out by the time I arrived. In fact from what I can tell they had barely started into the process by the time I arrived. What this means is that although I've been working for over 4 weeks at this stage, they haven't paid me.

I think I'm a pretty patient person, but to be frank, my patience is wearing very thin. That's why you're getting the grumpy blog post. I should be working, but for some reason, I can't seem to get motivated.

Obviously when I packed for this trip I couldn't take everything. I packed all my favorite cloths, so things are ok in that regard. However I only packed 4 pairs of shoes (not including trainers), and out of them, there is only 1 pair I particularly like. Now - similar to my patience - I've worn through the sole of these shoes, see the picture. Dammit! I need new shoes, and to get them I need money!

I haven't even mentioned my mortgage or my scary credit card bill yet.

To add insult to injury, for 2 of these 4 weeks I've been without pay, my boss has been on holiday and he won't be back till next week. Without him to pester about this situation, by only outlet is this blog. However, it's not nearly as satisfying, and writing here will not advance my payment in any way.

...

Here is a question for any Irish people reading this Blog. Why didn't nobody think to mention to me that Mark Harney had resigned?!? It happened on the day I flew out of Ireland, which is presumably why I missed it in the news. However I only found out yesterday. That's almost 5 weeks later!

In here resignation announcement the former Tanaiste said:

I have also received outstanding support as Party Leader and Tanaiste from my advisers and from Party HQ staff each and every one has given wholehearted, enthusiastic and professional advice and service to me over the past 13 years.

Can I presume that when she says "Party HQ Staff" she's referring to the kitchen staff?

...

BTW This is the second time I've written this post because - dammit! - Blogger/Picassa just ate the whole thing. I also had a whole section on Ireland's embarrassing defeat to Cyprus over the weekend. But I couldn't be bothered rewriting that. They've redeemed themselves slightly by drawing with the Czech Republic yesterday.

Snakes on Plane Sequel?

A comment to this post got me wondering. Wouldn't this be a good idea for a sequel to Snakes on a Plane? Of course, I do an internet search and somebody has already beaten me to it.



Although this time I think Samuel L's signature line should be:

"How in the hell did these muthaf**king sharks get on this muthaf**king train!?!"

...

In other news, in another example of Rip-Off-Ireland in action, hookers rates' rates in Dublin are soaring, as they take advantage of the 'lunch time rush'.

...

I had perhaps the least healthy weekend ever, with major drinking on Friday, Saturday AND Sunday nights. I also entered my first Australian fencing competition. So essentially , my weekend diet consisted of hot-hogs, leftover pizza, wontons (don't ask), beer and PowerAid. I feel like I need a complete detox after that, never mind the fact that my trousers feel tighter this morning. Bleaugh!

Oh, I came second in the competition, not too bad considering.

How to make a Mountain out of a Molehill

This is so stupid - I'm talking about the Limerick city officials of course.

Fury over 'kill 'em all' web game set in Limerick - Irish Independent:
A TEXAS high school teenager who invented a shoot 'em up internet game involving a sniper shooting people around Limerick has attracted the wrath of the city's mayor. Chris Alvares created the game 'Sniper on High' which allows players to shoot and kill targets on the Munster town's streets and buildings.

Here's the offending game:

There's No Such Thing as a Free Hug

Monday was Labour Day here in New South Wales - not Labor Day, you crazy Americans! - which meant that I had a day off work. Having been out on the tear most of the weekend, I took it pretty easy, and spent the day wandering idly around the city.

After meeting with my sister, I went walking home via Pitt Street, one of the main shopping thoroughfares in the CBD. I was just crossing the road, minding my own business, when the old lady beside my suddenly broke into song, and boy, does she have a set of lungs on her! It was so unexpected, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I'm not exactly sure what she was singing, but I think it was opera, and I think it was directed at the traffic. Bizarre!

As I left this wrinkled diva behind me, I was greeted by the next oddity of the afternoon. Standing there in the middle of the pedestrian section of the street were a group of young student types. Each was holding up a sign with, printed in large letters:

FREE HUGS

written across it. Indeed, true to their word, they did seem to be providing hugs to passerbys and asking for nothing in return. I must admit my innate shyness overrode my curiosity here and prevented me from approaching. Therefore, I neither found out why the had suddenly decided to band together to give charity hugs, nor did I receive my complimentary hug.

Which is a shame really, God knows when I'll receive an offer as good as that again.

...

On Monday evening, I was watching and interview with the Foo Fighters, who are doing a short tour in Australia at the moment. They claim the reason fro playing only 3 shows is that their "selfish" - his word - lead-singer wants to get home to his kid. He said that his plan was to play the gigs and then just spend the remainder of the time in his hotel room, resting.

The interviewer, asked if the rock-and-roll era of throwing TV out hotel windows was over? One of the other band members responded:

"We're the kind of people that if we threw a TV out the window, we'd be really pissed, 'cos we couldn't watch TV any more"

...

BTW. The Melbourne Storm (see this post) lost in the finals over the weekend. I guess it must blow that the Storm Season ended so poorly for the Imperfect Storm, the Brisbane Broncos really stole their thunder. Still, don't worry lads, every storm cloud has a silver lining.

Must be a slow news day

This was on the front page of the Irish Times?!?

Irish Times Article - 2051 space oddity: TV station aims at an alien audience
Eurotrash goes intergalactic tonight when two naked television presenters host the first programme conceived for aliens and broadcast to a star located in the Big Dipper, 45 light years away.